The many and various ways I pass the time now has a new addition. Usually it involves drinking coffee whilst sitting at a computer keeping in touch with chums, or sipping wine sitting on our tiny terrace catching the sun, and wondering what else I can do to avoid any cleaning or tidying or putting away of stuff and things that aren't even MINE. And now I am going to type this blog. Provided that doesn't become a chore as well, in which case...

Sunday, 30 June 2013

Getting Back To Normal...

...or, rather, what passes for normal in our house.  OUR normal.  The easy-going pace of life that we prefer is again possible after the travelling and co-ordination needed for us to attend the very wonderful day The Husband's sister arranged for the family and closest local friends to gather to say goodbye to the matriarch. 

Sleep Tight, Our Ma.

It was colourful, cheerful, and very musical interlude, lots of laughing and smiling through tears during the service, and just laughing, reminiscing, teasing, eating, drinking, hugging and kissing the rest of the time.  It was truly perfect.  How often can one say that about a funeral?

So, we are back in our country fastness now, and a bit reluctant after all the emotions, and the exertions of travel, to stir our stumps beyond the weekly supermarket shop and a spot of light gardening.  As I sit on "my" sofa tapping away on my laptop, The Husband is perusing the screen of his laptop, sitting opposite me on "his" sofa, one either side of the fireplace facing one another.  It's like that glorious vision of quiet domestic contentment that Gabriel Oak has during his first proposal to Bathsheba Everdene: "Either side of the fire we shall sit, and when I look up there shall you be, and when you look up there shall I be."

I have loved those words ever since I first began to read Thomas Hardy in my mid-teens.  And now, forty years later, in our retirement, they have come to pass.  Thank you Our Ma for bringing up your baby boy so wonderfully well he has become a man so cheerful, so calm and comfortable to be around, that I know of no-one who has ever taken a dislike to him.

My Gabriel Oak.


  1. Hari OM
    In answer to the query - rarely. Which is a shame really. It is wonderful what you all did and clearly a healing experience.

    The fireside scene sounds blissful. May it be ever yours. Hugs, YAM xx

    1. Well, it's cosy and friendly, but bliss is fleeting at best, YAM, as one or the other of us is always having to get up to let The Dog in or out!

  2. As Yam, says, not often, though I've seen a couple in my time. I'm so glad Your Ma got the send-off she deserved and would have enjoyed. One final perfect memory to add to a lifetime's worth.

    As for your Hardyesque scene - so sweet and I can see it now. :-)

    1. It certainly helped that Our Ma was a grand old age, and had been sufferering latterly, so her going was timely and a release from all her worldy cares. Also there has never been a rift or ruckus in the family, and no-one has been at odds with anyone else about how best to care for her. Harmony has been the order of the day. It has paid dividends, at the end.