I haven't wanted to post about anything for ages. This is because a) there has been precious little spare time even to think about writing, let alone embark on any b) everything is so up in the air and c) The Husband has been at home with me since knocking off o'clock on Maundy Thursday, until today. This is the first morning for twelve days that I haven't woken up with him either beside me or very nearby.
Yes, The Husband and I live in each other's pockets. And that fact doesn't embarrass us one jot. First time around we were both married to spouses who had time-consuming interests which overrode most if not all other considerations in their lives. In the case of The Daughter's Father this was His Work. In the case of The Husband's First Wife this was The Theatre. Their life partners, families and most of their friends took an indubitable and rather ignominious lower place in their busy, busy lists of Things To Do. In TDF's case there was also Cricket (Playing and Watching) which took care of Saturdays and/or Sundays from April to September, except when were abroad. Mix in Listening to Radio Four and Saying Shush as a third activity or hobby, and you can imagine how lowly a handmaiden your author was made to feel for most of the twenty years we were together!
So if The Husband, my new and greatly improved husband of the past eight years, is off work, I am with him or alongside him 90% of the time. He likes it like that. We are nauseatingly happy with the arrangement, like proverbial pigs in shite.
The bit about everything being up in the air still pertains. I can't get high enough up to get a good perspective on how things lie, as a result. We have had and accepted an offer on Our Ma's house which - if IF IF it goes through to exchange of contracts and completion - will see her with enough in various bank accounts invested in a number of ways with a mixture of risk to be comfortably ensconced in the residential home we have installed her in until she's 100+ if need be. But I don't count chickens, do you? So pretend you haven't heard what I have just said, please, as I don't want to jinx the transaction.
As for being too busy to think and write, I am hoping that this won't be so now, as we have got into the swing of our new routines, of work and play and eating and drinking and visiting Our Ma, and with The Husband back earning our daily crust I have some contemplative moments to fuel my typing on here again. So you may well see a little more activity from Goldenoldenlady, but I am not promising anything. I rarely promise faithfully, as - like with counting chickens - I can't see round corners.
Glad you've had such a good holiday using up so few days of The Husband's leave. The weather must have been a wonderful bonus. I bet you both really needed the rest and time together after the hectic and stressful few weeks that preceded it.
ReplyDeleteIt perennially fascinates me how different people are from each other. DH and I have not only survived but enjoyed our 43 years together, at least partly by not always BEING together. Even in retirement we are usually in different parts of the house for hours at a time most days. I think we both just need our own space as well as our time together. I know I do.
I'm now crossing fingers and toes silently for a successful outcome to you know what. In the meantime it's nice to see you back posting, Baby Sis :-)
I suppose if I too had had a study that covered an entire floor of the house, and somebody else did all those menial chores I was expected to do while he thought great thoughts in his, I might happily have bided my time whilst TDF did everything he reckoned was so much more important than his wife and child were.
ReplyDeleteIf the first marriages hadn't been like they were the two neglected spouses might not have issued divorce proceedings, I guess.
The Husband is still at work in a job where he is shown little appreciation, admiration and respect. I guess that means he sets a lot of store by what I think of him, to make up for it. It was merely our holiday I described. During workaday weeks we are rarely both togther and awake, which is why we treasure it all the more when we are.
That first comment of mine directly above is "A Room of One's Own" in a nutshell, I guess.
ReplyDeleteOf course the situations are quite different and I accept that completely. I wasn't even trying to make any comparisons, just commenting that even in retirement, with no work outside the house, DH and I very rarely spend the whole of any day together except when we're travelling or out on a trip :-)
ReplyDeleteI think there is no-one in the world who is normal or average. That is a statistical concept, merely. One couple's cosiness might be another's claustrophobia but for all you two rejoice in plenty of physical space and the individual freedoms that brings, I bet DH is always in earshot, pretty much. You need only call out and he'd break off what he's doing (eventually...!) and come and see what's up. And vice versa. In my first marriage I was pretty much forbidden to disturb or interrupt, unless providing a meal, and yet I was expected to drop everything when he wanted MY attention. It was not a partnership of equals in any way! Which is why it didn't thrive and couldn't last.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely. I couldn't agree more.
ReplyDeleteThat's why I'm not sure where the idea of normal or average comes from, as I didn't mention either in my comments, rather the reverse - stressing how different (i.e. NOT average or normal) people are.
I didn't say you said it, I just mentioned it as it seems to me the concepts of normality and averageness are the reason so many people misunderstand others (or even feel inferior to or superior to others) because they don't accept the huge variations between people as being enriching and fascinating. Otherness is alien, and frightening to many people, whereas I think you and I both rejoice in the infinite variety of humanity, even within our own birth family, as well as the (world-) wider one!
ReplyDeleteThe Husband and I are just eleven years into our relationship (having met as friends exactly thirteen years ago this Mayday weekend - lucky for some!) and we are still marvelling at our compatability. Second time SO lucky.
Doh! Put it down to my increasing years, Baby Sis. Congratulations on your May weekend anniversary and here's to many many more of them :-)
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